Deciding what is “right”

How do you know what is right? How do you know what to do, or the proper choice to make when it come to your child?

Let’s think about what you do with your child during the day. Do you stay home with them as a stay at home mom (SAHM)? Do you send them to a home daycare where you know who is taking care of them? Do you put them in a large daycare with cameras and video recording? How do you know what is right?

How do you wake up each morning and decide that you are making the best decision for your child and family?

Do you stay home because daycare is so expensive that it isn’t worth it? Do you go to work because you need that “alone” time around other adults? What do you do?

For me it was not an easy decision to make. I went back to work when Jaxon was just six months old. I was so blessed to be a SAHM for those months when some moms literally only get 6 weeks.

I am a teacher so I planned to have Jax in May so I would get the extra two months with him on top of my unpaid 12 week leave. During those six month we bonded like no other. He was literally like a little best friend that I spent 24/7 with and it was tiring if you want me to be completely honest. Being a stay at home mom means that you have one of the hardest jobs in the world and I praise you for that. You have to be a mom, a teacher, a nurse, a doctor, a psychologist, and a chef while still trying to be “you.”

Once my 12 weeks was up my husband told me if I wanted to stay home with Jax for longer than that was completely up to me (grateful for the support.) I told him “no, I am ready to go back to work and I think it would be best to get Jaxon on a schedule!” And he said he would agree with whatever I chose. So we found a close family friend that ran an in home daycare with like three other children, but Jax would be the youngest. This worked well for us for the year! When I was off of school I would just keep Jax home (winter break, spring break, summer break, holidays.) So I still got to spend a lot of time with my baby and I loved that!!

However, it wasn’t as structured as I wanted it to be. Jax is 15 months old, he doesn’t like to share (I know it comes with the territory), he sit down and let you read to him, and he isn’t talking much (could be because he needed tubes for 14 months but that’s for another day).

When my husband and I moved to a different city we decided to put Jaxon in a daycare with the fancy cameras. We decided that it was best for our family. It was closer to our new home and he needed this new structure in his life.

Today was his first day and they said “he was hot and cold” and I said “okay so he is being a normal toddler!” And they laughed. He would be find playing (by himself) until he realized when he looked around the room that he didn’t know anyone. He has severe separation anxiety and I am really hoping that I am making the best decision for our babe.

I hope that each day that passes he becomes more and more confident in himself and he continues to grow as the true learner he is.

Making decisions for another human is hard. When you are put in charge of it, where do you go? Who do you ask? It is important to have a huge tribe that supports you in any decision you make for you babe.

At the end of the day, do what’s best for you.

With love,

Erin & Jax 🖤

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